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“Where are we sailing
to? Who’s the captain? What kind of shit do you do?”
The goblin rolled his
eyes as he walked to the mailbox. The elf behind him continued to ask
questions, ignoring the strands of black hair falling into his eyes. Suddenly,
the goblin stopped and looked up at the elf. “You know? I can punch your balls
at any minute. Shut the fuck up!”
The elf stopped and
took a step back. “But I wanna know.”
Turning to the
mailbox, the goblin reached into his pocket for a letter and tossed it into the
box. “We’re heading to enemy waters. Picking up a wench. Name’s Gerty and you
better say you like her cooking or else you’ll be the next dish we eat.” He
turned and walked toward the docks. The elf gulped and ran after him. “The
captain…” The goblin sighed. “The captain is somewhere out there with his own
wench.”
“He has a wench?”
The goblin laughed
loudly. “The captain used to fuck anything that has a pussy! Now, he’s just
with her. But don't worry. We’ll change that.”
The elf scratched the
back of his neck. “Do you have a wench?”
“Kid, I have whatever wench I want. I’m
that good.”
The elf nodded. His
voice lowered a bit and he looked away. “Do I need a wench?”
The goblin smirked.
“Stick with me, kid, and you’ll always need a wench.” He chuckled and headed
toward the shipyard. The elf’s eyes widened and his face turned red.
“There she is…” The goblin smiled and
looked at a ship.
“Uh…”
“What? You don’t like her?” The elf
studied the ship. It was the size of a galleon and it had what appeared to be a
metal goblin face attached to the front with a really long nose. “She’s
beautiful.”
“There’s a goblin face on it.”
“Yeah? So?” The elf silently shook his
head. “Well then, let’s go. I need to show you the basics.”
The elf looked back at
the mailbox, wondering what the letter said, but he followed the goblin
onboard.
Fucker,
I’m picking up
the ugly wench and then we’re on our way. You have a few days to get to the
alcove. The Keeper is there. Don’t worry. She knows about her sister and is
disappointed. So don’t go killing her. It ain’t her fault.
You better
like the ship, bitch. I’ll fucking stab you!
The awesome motherfucker
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