The cargo deck was filled with merchandise and treasures they had captured. Three merchant ships later, Cris and his crew had acquired enough booty to either sell or replenish the alcove, Cris’ secret location of treasures. The run had been quite successful and the thought of going home was already running through Cris’ head. He was dying to see his wife once more and the lack of knowing if she as fine or not racked his brain.
Cristianno emerged from below and took a deep breath of the salty air around him. Being near Durotar made him consider docking at Ratchet, but instead he decided to head back and perhaps dock at Ghostlands, which was closer to Silvermoon. With a large grin on his face, he took a few steps on the deck. “Thank the spirits,” he whispered. His hair flowed in the breeze and his brief moment of happiness was cut short as when his blue-green eyes fell upon Tia’Zula and Ziggly talking a short distance from him. At first, he thought nothing of it, but when the troll and goblin’s eyes turned to stare at him, Cris sneered at them both.
“What?”
Tia rose off her knee and smiled at Cris, “It be noting, Cristianno.” However the tone in her voice was suspicious. She walked by the captain and patted his shoulder. “ ‘Ow be da tooth? It be almost time, no?” She laughed and walked below deck. Cris turned to Ziggly, who leaned against a mast and grinned widely at him.
“And you?”
“Me? I should be asking you, Wolf.”
Cris rolled his eyes and turned around, heading to his cabin. “I don’t have time for your damn games, Zig.”
“Oh come on! I would love a game. How about “I have an important secret.” I like that game. You go first.”
Cris stopped and glared at Ziggly. “Why don’t you get to work?”
“And do what? Mop the deck? This trip is almost done!” Ziggly walked behind Cris, following him into his cabin. “Whatever you’re hiding, Tia is does not like it.”
“Yeah, I bet she wouldn’t.”
“And the last thing you need to do is piss Tia off!”
Leaning against his desk, Cris folded his arms across his chest and took a deep breath. “So what the fuck do you want to hear?”
“Who’s the wench?”
Cris laughed and ended with a stern glare at Ziggly. “No.”
“Oh I see. You’re embarrassed of her. What, does she have like a giant mole on her face? Is she half a guy? Please tell me it’s not the lower half.”
“Shut up, Ziggly.”
“Oh, I know, she’s a whore and you don’t date whores, so she needs to remain a secret. Gotcha.”
His hands curled around the edge of the desk. “Shut up.”
“Or maybe she’s a disgusting, horrible bitch that just…” Cristianno rushed toward the goblin and grabbed him by the shirt collar, lifting him up. The goblin grabbed at his hands, his feet dangling in the air.
“What the fuck is your problem? Why do you need to know!”
“Because you’re the captain and you can’t think of yourself alone. You have a damn crew. If she fucks you up like the other whores, we’re in deep shit and everyone knows that, except you!”
“She’s not a fucking whore. Take it back!”
Ziggly stared at the rage-filled eyes and smirked. “No.” Cris threw the small goblin into the wall, making him fall onto the bed. “Face it! Someone has to save your ass from those dick-hungry wenches!”
“I told you to shut the fuck up!” Cris lunged at the goblin, but the goblin vanished into the shadows and reappeared behind Cris, angled just enough to kick him from behind, between his legs. The elf fell onto the bed, his hands grabbing onto his crotch, eyes shut tightly as he tried to take a breath.
“Just tell me the truth!”
“What truth, asshole?”
Ziggly walked to the desk and leaned against it. “The truth about why you’re never here taking care of your ship and always with this damn bitch. We made it clear she wasn’t some wench. Fine, but Tia thinks differently. So, ‘fess up, Cris.”
“She’s not a bitch,” Cris managed to say with a bit of a squeak in his voice. One hand reached up toward his belt and withdrew his dagger. “And too many questions will get you killed.”
“Not enough will get you killed.” Ziggly backed away, keeping an eye on Cris. “Speak, fucker.”
“Shut up!” Cris twisted and pushed himself off the bed, falling onto the goblin, the dagger slashing at his arm.
“Bitch, you cut me! You wanna fight? Fine! Bring it on!” The goblin sneered and grabbed his dagger, slashing at Cris’ neck. Their eyes momentarily gazed at the small shark tooth that once decorated the side of his neck as it fell onto the wooden floor.
“You mother fucking bastard!” Cris cried out, both hands reaching for Ziggly’s neck. The goblin flipped backward onto the desk, kicking away Cris’ hands and almost instantly, he jumped behind the wooden writing table.
“Hey, you started it, mother fucker!”
“I started it? You’re the one who won’t leave things alone, jackass!” Cris began to stalk around the desk, heading toward his first mate, who walked in the opposite direction.
“I just wanted to know what was going on! You’re the one getting abusive! What, does she like it like that?”
“I should just fucking kick your ass…”
“Captain! You need to get out here, now!” Amy’s shriek made both Cristianno and Ziggly turn to the doorway.
Cris sighed and at muttered, “What now?” He grabbed a mug off his desk and threw it at Ziggly, who batted it away, rolling his eyes. Both men reached for their daggers and walked up on deck, where the rest of the crew was facing in one direction.
“What’s going on?” Ziggly asked.
“We thought you needed to see this,” Amy extended her green arm up to Cris, handing him a bronze telescope. The captain unfolded the device and glanced in the direction Amy had suggested.
“Fuck!” Ziggly looked at up at Cris curiously, “Why did it have to be fucking pirates? And Bloodsails, nonetheless.
“Are you ready to be captain, or are we going to do this on our own?” Ziggly muttered. Cris closed the telescope and smacked Ziggly over the head with it. “Ow! There you go again with the abuse!”
“Man the canons, hoist the colors, and let’s get ready to greet these dogs,” Cris ordered. The crew began to scramble about the ship. “Kill them all.” He walked to the side of the ship, followed by Ziggly. “Let’s make sure we get all the shit we can get before we leave.” The goblin nodded and Cris looked down at his cut green arm. “You okay there?”
“No worries. It’s just a flesh wound. Bros before whoes, right?” Cris smiled and patted the goblin’s back and Ziggly looked out at the sea. “But seriously, Wolf, we need to talk.” Cris looked down at his friend who managed to say a sentence without a single cussword.
With a nod, Cris only replied, “I know.”
“Captain! Uh, I don’t know why…maybe it was our kick-ass flag and stuff, but uh… they’re departing!” Amy yelled from the crow’s nest.
“What the fuck?” Cris lifted the telescope once more and noticed that the Bloodsail ship had turned around and was now heading in another direction. “That’s not…right.”
“Wolf, joo need ta look behind us,” Tia said, her voice foreboding with a sense of dread.
As soon as Cris turned around, he gazed through the telescope and whispered, “Oh, fuck me now.”
Ziggly quickly turned and walked to his side, “What is it?”
“The Horde.”
Ziggly facepalmed and shook his head, sighing deeply. “How the fuck did they sneak up on our ass?” He gazed up at the crow’s nest, “Hey Amy! Isn’t it your job to watch our asses? And I don’t mean just Wolf’s! The whole ship!”
“Hey now!”
“Amy, lower the colors!”
“But Cappy! You said…”
“NOW!” Cris screamed and the female goblin began to pull down the black flag. “Fuck, unman the canons. Remember, men, we’re merchants.” Cris tapped the telescope against his chin as he paced in thought. “Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. Zig, you’re in charge. We’ve had a successful run and I’m not letting those fuckers take everything away from us. Hide the Alliance crew and the booty. I’ll go talk to the bastards.” Ziggly nodded in silence. “When I give you the sign, you have to take off, got it?”
Ziggly turned up to glance at Cris, “No deal, mother fucker. We’re in this together. I’m going with you this time. You’re not going to have all the fun.”
“Listen, Zig, there’s no one I really trust here with the ship but you. You have to do this or all of our plunder was for naught.”
“Well don’t you have a better plan than being stupid and getting yourself killed?”
“Yeah, hit me.”
“What?”
“Hit me!” Cris knelt to Ziggly’s level, pointing to his face. Ziggly shrugged and grinned as he pulled his arm back and swung his fist toward Cris’ face, hitting his cheekbone and nose, causing blood to drip. Before Cris got up, Ziggly punched him again. “Hey!”
“I thought you liked it abusive.” The goblin laughed and patted Cris’ back. As soon as he rose, Cris looked up at the crow’s nest.
“Amy!”
“Yes, Cap!” The female goblin appeared from behind him, startling Cris.
“Make yourself useful. Any not-so-obvious explosives on you?”
“Are you kidding me? Wait here!” As Amy ran below deck, Cris’ eyes shifted to Tia’Zula, who simply stared at him.
“I know, Tia. I know. It’s almost time.” The troll only nodded in silence, her gray eyes staring at the shark tooth in the middle of his neck. She furrowed her brows and tilted her head.
“Wat happen to da tooth on da side?”
“A little bitch sliced it off,” Cris smirked, looking at Ziggly. Ziggly rolled his eyes and paced away. Cris wiped his nose and noticed that it was still bleeding. “Zig, make sure the crew gets paid and you anchor the Wench somewhere safe.” Amy emerged from below deck and presented Cris with a box. As soon as the lid was open, she grinned widely, revealing twelve cigars. “Cigars?”
“Not just any cigars. Exploding cigars.” Amy beamed as Cris chuckled, reaching for the box. “That works.” He took a deep breath and handed Ziggly the telescope. He ran back to his cabin and opened the leather bound tome he always carried. With some of his blood splattering onto the page, he began to write his final message.
Trouble. It’ll be okay. I hope.
“I’m sorry, Niela,” he whispered as soon as he closed the book. He ran back to the deck and held the box tightly.
“They’re coming, Wolf,” Ziggly said.
“As soon as I’m off the ship, leave.” The crew waited in silence and when the Horde ship closed in, Cris walked to the edge of the ship, took a deep breath, and jumped into the water. It wasn’t too long before the Horde crew reached out for the overboard elf. The Forsaken and troll sailors grabbed Cris and shook him several times.
“Are you the captain?”
Cris, trying hard to appear as injured as possible, looked up at them, “Huh?”
“Where’s the captain?”
“The…the captain? What captain?”
Irritated with his response, the Forsaken sailor punched Cris in the gut and the troll laughed. “Maybe joo listen now.”
“I…I ain’t no captain nor sailor! I’m…” He coughed to the side. “I’m just a prisoner!”
The Horde sailors glanced at each other and turned back to the ship, which was sailing away with a bit of distance between them. “Dammit, Jammo, I told you to keep an eye on that ship! The admiral’s going to kill us! Or rather, you!”
“For letting go of a pirate ship? Yes, indeed I may.” A Sin’Dorei man in Horde colors emerged from his cabin and looked at Cris. “What is this?”
“He be a prisoner, Admiral.”
“A prisoner? They threw a prisoner at you and you let them escape? Incompetent fools. Why are you even on my ship?” The elf walked toward Cris and grabbed his wet chin. “A prisoner, hm?” He sighed and threw his chin to the side. “They really beat you up, didn’t they?”
“Yeah, but…they did give me a box of cigars.” Cris lifted the box and the troll was more than happy to take them.
“Don’t smoke them!” The Admiral shouted. “It could be a trap. We’ll take this elf back to Orgrimmar and find out as much as we can about that pirate ship. Throw him in a cell.”
“But, sir, he’s a prisoner. We rescued him. He’s no danger,” an orc muttered as he approached the others. The Admiral narrowed his eyes and waved them off dismissively.
“Fine, but keep an eye on him. And don’t light the cigars!”
When they let him go and he managed to walk away, Cris grinned and turned to see the Lucky Wench sail away. Taking a deep breath, he held the box of explosive cigars close and hoped for the best.
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