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The night spun out of control too quickly and he couldn’t do anything but watch it all burn away. For days, he had been avoiding certain individuals in the tome. Undesirables. Unwanted. Wretched creatures that sought to belittle him, hurt the ego that he knew was easily bruised, but it all began with them assuming. It was always about them assuming. Not once would any of them get to know him for who he really was, and what bothered him was that others believed their lies.
In frustration, walked out to Eversong woods and found a rather large tree. He bowed before it before he whispered in Taurahe, “Forgive me.” And with that, he made his first strike, his knuckles hitting the tree’s trunk. The only damage done was the pain that ran through is hand. However, the rage he felt numbed the pain quickly, as he prepared to make another hit.
It wasn’t just the group of dead assholes. There was also the commander. Cris had been dying to punch him since Niela told him about the kiss, but he had been spent arguing about ridiculous frivolities, that he simply threatened him. The response, however, was not expected.
“Tell her something.” The commander simply told him, “Checkmate” and walked away. Whatever that meant, Cris did not like the tone in his voice. He punched the tree again. And what’s worse, the deader’s spy was hearing everything he had said. Once more, his fist hit the tree.
“You told me life would be a bitch, father,” he whispered as he glanced as his bleeding knuckles. “And I believed you. I know what you mean.” He took a deep breath and sighed, “But you told me to be a man and walk proud. How the fuck am I to walk proud when there are assholes in this world that insist on picking on me for no fucking reason!” He punched the tree again, right, left, right left, before he stopped and caught his breath.
“It’s all her. Even after I have stopped and said my peace, she continues to haunt me. I want nothing to do with her, but they continue to bring her up. Spirits, I wish I had never met her!” He kicked the tree once and punched it again. Red bloodstains began to make their mark on the tree’s bark. “I offered her my life and she betrays me. Out of everyone in this world, she…SHE betrays me.” He held back the tears filling in his eyes. “I didn’t do anything to her, father. I didn’t! I was a gentleman with her. Why would she do such a thing to me?” His screams scared away a few dragonhawks that flew by as he swung once again toward the tree. “Father, why did you have to raise me to be like this? Why couldn’t you have raised me to hate them? To despise them?”
Cris leaned against the tree, head gently scraped from the bark. “Instead, I feel for them. I let the world abuse me and speak ill of me, because I put my life on the line for women. I’m a whore. I’m a slut. I’m a pussy. I’m all the bullshit they call me because I have backed away and said my peace with…her.” He growled and punched the tree again.
“Father take this away from me.” He wiped the tears away from his eyes. “Sometimes I wish I was with you and mother. This isn’t what I wanted. This isn’t the life you showed me. And I’m trying, I really am, but sometimes women are worse than us men. They will stab you, betray you, and expect everyone to forgive them. And us? We’re the ones to take the fucking blame.” He chuckled coldly, shaking his head. “No, I’m the one to take the fucking blame. It’s always my fucking fault!” He continued to punch the tree.
“I tire of this, Father. I tire of it all!”
“Stop it.” He froze in mid strike when he heard her voice coming around the tree. Niela stood near, holding one of his arms back. “This happens every time you open that damn book. I should take it away and burn it.”
Trying to calm himself, he explained why he was upset. The deaders, the spying goblin, and the commander’s message to her. Checkmate.
The message delivered, Niela’s demeanor turned cold and furious. “Do you have any idea what you may have done?”
“I had to! You’re mine!” The situation was insignificant, but in Cristianno’s eyes, she belonged to him, no matter what mask or name she wore. He couldn’t look at her any longer, his eyes red with rage and frustration and his body trembling from the pain in his knuckles.
Is this worth it, Father? Is all this worth it? Or is my lecherous friend right and women are not worth the trouble?
Just then, she reached for his chin, forcing him to see her in the eyes. “I’ll figure something out, but I beg you to think before you act, Cristianno.” In his mind, he could see his human father nodding to him before his image faded away. “Come, let’s go home. I’ll wrap your hands and make sure that you forget your troubles.” Cris lifted his eyes and looked at her, Niela, his wife.
His father was right. She was worth all the pain and struggle, even if that meant wrongfully being called a villain. Those who knew him knew the truth. Those who accused him were ignorant assholes who didn’t bother to take the time to know who he really was. The only one who truly knew him was Niela and she knew how to ease his pain.
As he walked away with her, his head hanging low and his long auburn hair covering his face, he could hear his father speaking beside him with an arm wrapped around his shoulders.
A man makes his mark in this world by contributing positively. Be strong. Be my son. The D’Avros men know how to survive. It isn’t cowardice to turn away; it’s using your head. And be a gentleman to all women. They are the key to our happiness. Those who hate us may have a reason to, but those who love us will overshadow the past women of our life. You are a good man, Cristianno.
Cris nodded slightly, ignoring the pain in his hand as he squeezed his wife’s hand tightly. In time, he would learn to live and let live. After all, he was still learning to live with every single breath he took each day.
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