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Sitting in his room, Cristianno grabs his black leatherbound journal and begins to jot down a few thoughts. His wolf Misae is resting her head against his thigh while the not-so-dainty Blood Knight snores away on his bed.
I need a cigarette badly. If she weren’t sleeping in my bed, I would be indulging myself with one right now. Bloody fel. Anyway, what a day. One would think that fighting sea creatures and military fleets would be tiring, but nothing compares to being tired out by the rantings of a woman. Why am I even allowing her to sleep in my bed? I should have gotten her a room. This is the second night I sleep on the floor. I may as well be back on the ship!
It started yesterday afternoon when I returned from Booty Bay. I found the Blood Knight, off duty, as usual, and of course, being as soft as I am, I simply told her the truth. I should have never said a thing.
See, I figured I could use a little transportation while I stayed in Silvermoon, so I stalked the hawkstrider hatchery for a few days. My plan was perfect: “borrow” a hawkstrider in the early morning, use it and return it at night. Rinse, repeat. After all, where the fel am I going to put a hawkstrider if I’m renting an apartment in the city and there is absolutely no way I’m taking that over-grown chicken on the ship.
So there I was, at the wee hours of the day, ready to run into the hatchery’s corral, saddle up a hawkstrider, and ride off without anyone noticing. Now, I’m no rogue, therefore, my stalking skills are limited, but I do have my charm that can subdue even animals. I’m that cool. I made it into the hatchery. Check. I found a saddle. Check. Found a wonderful hawkstrider. Check. All I had left to do was ride back to Silvermoon. Then, I heard the growl.
I looked back and noticed a lynx simply growling at me. I flashed my smile at it and whispered, “Down, pussyc—“ but it lunged at me. I guess it wasn’t a fan. I jumped on the hawkstrider, but by then, the other hawkstriders were squawking about, the hatchery’s owners emerged with swords and bows. I had to run and fast!
Much to my demise, I picked a slow hawkstrider. Damn bird was so slow, the owners and their lightning fast striders were catching up to me. I managed to cut an angle and escape them for a moment. I had to think fast and that’s when I saw the bush by the river. It was the perfect plan.
“You’re going to hate me, but get in the bush,” I growled at the tall dark bird. It stared at me for a moment before lunging its beak at my face. I’m grateful for being able to dodge quickly or else my beautiful face would have been damaged.
“Listen here, bird: get in the damn bush!” I pushed it toward the bush but it started to squawk. I immediately glanced all around and as I turned back, I swung at the bird’s beak, trying to at least knock it out momentarily. You know, I’ve never been a decent judge of strength. Who would have thought that a large chicken would not only withstand my punch, but head butt me in return. Dizzily, I grumbled, “Damn bird, I’ll have you cooked for dinner!” I stepped back a few steps and rushed toward the strider, putting all my energy into the shove and pushed him into the bush. That bloody bird flailed its wings wildly and I dodged several of its kicks before I managed to hide the damn thing in the bush.
It stopped moving and before I started thinking it was a goner, it moved its head and I saw its round eye gazing at me. “Yeah, you stay there and think about what you’ve done.” I looked at the bird in the bush. It made the plant look like a feathered bush. Great. I had just created a rare type of flora.
“I heard a bird over here!”
They were getting closer. I took a deep breath, cursed in common, my favorite type of cursing, and jumped into the bush with the tangled bird. Once more, the damn thing began to squawk. “Will you shut up?” I grabbed its beak and moved the plant around to hide as much of me as possible. I prayed to any of the gods and the spirits and anything that would help me escape.
I was lucky that the owners were on their fast hawkstriders, or else they would have noticed the feathered bush. A few minutes after they passed, I crawled out of the bush and stretched. That place was really cramped. I placed my hands on my waist and laughed. “Ha! Victorious!” I guess that’s when the damn bird kicked outward, straight toward my crotch.
Anyway, I rode my limping strider into town, to Booty Bay, and after a while, and a few slices of apples later, the strider was cooperative. I had succeeded.
Well, I would have succeeded if I had been thinking with my head and not my bloody heart. That’s when Lady Blood Knight showed up. Note to self: learn to not be suspicious. Thinking I could trust her, I told her the truth. She wasn’t on duty, so no harm done, right?
She twisted my arm and grabbed my earlobe and dragged me all across Silvermoon and out toward the hatchery. Remember I said I wasn’t a good judge of strength? Well, this woman can definitely break an arm.
“Where are we going?” I cried out as we exited Silvermoon.
“You know very well where,” she said sternly.
“No, no, no! I was going to return the damn bird!” Although, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do the same thing day after day. I don’t think I could stuff another over-grown chicken in a bush again.
We argued and after refusing to stay still, she used her little light magic thing and smacked me in the head with a hammer. When I came to, she was kicking me awake with her boot. “I got you the damn chicken,” she said.
I sat up with this amazing headache. “You did what? Where the fel am I supposed to keep that over-grown chicken?”
“You should have thought about that before you decided to steal it.”
“I was BORROWING it! I was going to return it!”
“Find a stable then.”
“You know, you can be a real b--, ow my head.”
She glared at me and said, “Yes, I can be a bitch, you ungrateful ass.” When I looked up to growl at her, she was already gone. Women are both beautiful and stubborn. I rather take my chances at sea.
After a series of events that made us have an unforgettable argument, we apologized to each other, she got drunk, and now she’s asleep in my bed. I need to get out and get a drink myself, and have a few smokes as well. Maybe I’ll find that courtesan I had met earlier. Misae can stay here and watch Lady Blood Knight. She does look beautiful when she sleeps, though. Damn you, temptation.
I let the bloody bird loose in Silvermoon. I hope it doesn’t run-a-muck. I’m going to have to hunt it down in the morning and find a place to put it for the remainder of my stay here. Damn bird.
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